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Dear Emily,

After college most of my friends went into finance, law and medicine while I decided to pursue more creative endeavors. Needless to say, most of them have a helluva lot more money than I do. I don't get to go out with them too often since they go to pretty swanky places I can't really afford, but we've managed to keep the friendships going strong.

Now we're getting to that age where a lot of them are getting married. So far, I've gotten invitations to four weddings this spring and summer, including one I'm a groomsman in. They're all pretty big affairs and my tux and travel for the wedding I'm in is going to cost me hundreds of dollars. It may be pocket change for those guys, but it's a lot to me. To add insult to financial injury, they've all registered at pretty pricey places, and I don't want to get them something crappy and uninspired like dishtowels.

My question is, do I have to buy something expensive (or inexpensive and lame) off of the registry or are there more creative, and much cheaper, options?

Sincerely,

Frugal Friend

Dear Friend,

In my opinion, while wedding registries are nice and easy for the people doing the buying (if they have enough money), they're part of a somewhat antiquated tradition. When people got married right out of their parents' houses, or even college, they needed pots and pans, wine glasses, coffee makers and the like. But now that people are waiting until their late 20s, 30s and 40s to marry for the first time, they just don't need all that crap. I'm 27 and have a full kitchen. While I'd someday like my yellowed hand mixer to be replaced by the KitchenAid mixer, I don't look at marriage as a chance to get all of those housewares I need (except for that KitchenAid mixer, in red). And it's not. It's a celebration of the love of the two people deciding to spend their lives together, and I think it's okay to do something they're not expecting.

I joke that my presence at a wedding is present enough — especially if I'm traveling for the festivities — but it's still nice to get something.

You say you're a creative person; why not make a gift? Paint them a picture, make them a sculpture or write them a poem. Use your talents to save yourself a few dollars.

I, of course, am always a fan of food or drink gifts, whether it's a home-cooked meal where I turn my dining room into a restaurant for two, or a gift certificate to my friends' favorite restaurants.

Do you know someone who home brews? Partner up with that person to make a case of beer for the happy couple. If your brewer already has all of the equipment, additional supplies should cost you about $30, and then you can order personalized labels online. Or go to The Roasterie and have a specialized blend made for the couple.

It really is the thought that counts. Just make sure you execute that thought and put a big bow and sincere card on it. Your friends will remember your thoughtful gift a lot more than they'll remember who got them the 16-quart All Clad stock pot and who got them the 12-inch frying pan. Promise.

Love,

Emily

Have a question for Emily? Send it to emilyf@kcfreepress.com.

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